So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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