i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
