Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
