community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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