Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize