But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
