She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
