i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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