i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
