Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
