North Korea, Best Korea!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
