That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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