the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
