was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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