she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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