As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
