Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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