Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
