i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
not ubering you a puppy
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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