Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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