i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
