gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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