I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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