I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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