these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
