You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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