Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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