Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
