so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
