Someone shit on the floor
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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