Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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