'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
