I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
