I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
