shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
