p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
