You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
