Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
