Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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