Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
