That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
