The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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