But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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