I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
