he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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