Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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