tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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