At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
