he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
