This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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