Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
