I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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