My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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